Please

Please please please... don't let summer end.

No matter how many wishies I catch and pennies I find and fountains I utilize I don't think that wish will come true.

So far, many awesome times, and fantastic people around to spend my summer with. It usually follows that the more fun I'm having/the busier I am, the less I post... so yeah, I wish I had pictures and stories but pretty much living the summer has been more important.

molluscs

Home sweet home! I'm back in Media for the summer, and the transition is always strange, but I'm sure I'll be past that soon enough. Yesterday and thursday were Dad Vails... I wasnt racing in them due to unfortunate academic circumstances that led me to be unqualified to race, although I think I wouldve just made the boat... (karma). Anywho it was a madhouse in Fairmount park with a kazillion teams and boats everywhere and tents and it was gorgeous out. Our team did well, but left with two boats of silver medalists both only feet (or inches in the women's case) away from taking gold. It was tough to swallow. Anywho it was fun romping about with my loves on the team, I shall miss them over the summer, we must have a picnic etc.

Anywho I dont know what else to report. This week has been fun with various random frisbee tosses/games, running into the most ridiculous unstereotypical frat guy at college pizza at 3 in the morning (and the numerous interesting conversations that spouted thereafter), fun piano listenings, geese taunting, chaos at the Occoquan, Minus (a great comic, if one could call it that), and other such fun things. Now that I'm home I have a few weeks to romp about before I have to be rather productive... and during this time I have a good 4 or 5 shows to go see! About time some new live music came into my life.

By the way, please listen to wxpn's program Echoes. Its on every weeknight from 11-1 and it always has extraordinary music, its on 88.5 around here.

Why do people always look around for what has changed instead of what has stayed the same?

Anyway sorry this is another boring catalog entry rather than wry musings or something. Its mothers day and I think I'll go ride my bike around media or something and perhaps find some flowers. Or visit the strange little graveyard my uncle just told me about...

Apparently he was walking along 252 and theres steps somewhere in the stone wall that lead to a tiny plot of land with gravestones and it was a piece of land given to the Taylors in the late 1600s by William Penn... apparently some of the headstones date back to the late seventeenth century, crazy. So yeah, perhaps thats on my to do list for today.

Visual... DNA? schwat

a day older than 20

(post from late sunday night/early monday)

Happy Birthday to me! For two more minutes... yeahh. So I think Earth day/ my birthday turned out to be pleasantly surprisingly fun, which was something I really needed. Last years bday still reigns as the worst ever but i guess i shouldnt think in negative terms.

Yesterday we had a regatta in allentown which had a very frustrating row but I had a lot of fun
Woke up to calls for getting lunch with eric and chrissy. opened some bday gifts from home... yesterday i got flowers and chocolate from home which pretty much was awesome :) Ate lunch that I was treated to, walked around outside some more... went back to my dorm to open rest of presents, talk to family etc, met up with some thespians throwing a couple frisbees around on the hub lawn, and partook in various activities with them afterwards. Including We'll be back in seven minutes! As much as I'd like to motorboat her... Rita's, puppy in the park, much hitting
of people in the head with frisbees, late night treking to insomnia cookies to buy 18 cookies and sprint to mcclanahans for milk, but it was closeddd, paying in pennys at unimart, eventually having a picnic at night under the doug face moon in the park, exclaming to random passersby about the cookies... various hilarity in conversations risk, green light, lake effect?. Good birthday stuff. Although I am so sad that I will never again be a teenager.

And yet I sit here and am still sad, I don't understand why. Perhaps because it has decayed into 1:17 am and I've had too much time alone to think to myself and be disatisfied with my unrealistic wishes.

Anywho I have been stalling to go to sleep for some time, and I can no longer. I have more to say, as always... but can't or won't articulate it. Think of sunshine my loves...

and I suppose rainy mornings are allowed as well. Goodnight.

some music to remember or something or get more of mental notes etc
rilo kiley
the cranberries
smashing pumpkins
rusted root- beautiful people
Current Music: fatal by pearl jam

Ps- away msgs I heart:
"$1.69 for a half gallon... split three ways... that's 56.33 cents a piece..."

highlight 254A:
"McLanahan's closes in 3 minutes."
beat.
"We'll be back in 7 minutes."

< emopost >

I was reading an article about Pan's Labyrinth today, and the director spoke about why he chose to make a dark, tragic fairytale. He quoted an old screenplay that said "Lost causes are more beautiful."

Maybe I am beautiful.

< / emopost >

welcome, ghosts

man. wahts going on.

i love explosions in the sky. their new cd came out today, and im listening right now. definitely awesome. caps are overrated.

falling apart, and not stopping things .


this was tuesday ^

now its thursday. last night i realized it was about 1 am on thursday and i had only been to 3 classes so far this week. I'm going to be in as many classes today as i will the entire rest of the week, including tomorrow. Sad.

The concrete squares on the outside of this building make me feel like I am in a beehive and nuclear fallout shelter at the same time. I think got to the realization point that I have to shape up this semester or I will continue to be in a state of shittiness and will hate myself. This is the beginning of my new leaf (there are no such things as new leaves, I think. They only spring from former leaves.)

Did I mention my hair is now cherry bomb, which actually equates to pink? Who cares. I am so trite, I hate looking back and reading my old journal entries. I hate how I can make no art for how empty I am. Or everything's cynical.

I have been getting annoyed with people talking more easily this week, its odd. I am in computer labs and walking down the street and I constantly hear myself muttering shut up. shut up. shut up! It happens several times a day in various places, I just want people to stop shouting their stupid phone conversations, their obnoxious throat clearing, unnecessary questions... anything. I dont understand because its not really like i have a headache, I just long so much for some peace and quiet, and i never have it. Or I never let myself have it, just as likely.

Deutsch klasse zeit. lurvely.

Tori comes this weekend and helps me lift this fog. Thank god, I need someone like her so badly right now.

Aus dir wird nichts werden

Well after a period of time (well more like a month!) offline, we have my lovely blog back, yayyy (thanks parental units for funding my life...) This semester is going ok...

Well, actually its somewhat of a mess, but lets pretend thats not happening. Also, its been really freaking cold. Just finally crept out of the teens today for the first time in like a week. Ewwy.

This weekend I got to explore an abandoned insane asylum all on my lonesome (due to joey and jason being bums and not being adventurous.) It was spectacularly amazing, and actually got my adrenaline going a bit. That was quite fun, seeing as i never get anxious or freaked out by anything. I took some smashing and some not so smashing pictures, which perhaps sometime I'll add to the photoblog. We'll see.
I got to go on to the roof at sunset and it was gorgeous, and there were many dark messy rooms inside. I suggest to everyone in the area to check it out before its torn down this summer. I only really got to visit the one tall main building, next time back I hope to get to more.

Anywho tomorrow I'm heading to pittsburgh to see Mastodon! And then immediately following seeing Gabi as well, if i can figure out where the hell to park. I think I've accumulated enough tickets for one year.

What else is happening? Mehhh its february which is pretty much my least favorite month ever, despite its evanescence. Ahh well, what can be done?

Ps I love getting approached by random people just due to my band apparel... This dude whose band I've heard of through Soma came up to me and was basically like dude I dont know any chicks that like mastodon and we chatted for a bit and I got invited to some show and party... ironically i will be in pittsburgh to see mastodon and thus not around, heh. Anywho thats the peanuts for today.

Happy New Year!

Jeez everyone is getting old. Celebrated new years last night at Boyle's with the band, like last year. Other than that I'm loving being busy at home, running around with Tori and Sophie and Jase and everyone... Gabi even came home for a few days. I got my nose pierced last week and I personally think it looks awesome. I have a star on my nose, how sweet is that? It was strange at first having the rest of the nose screw (as they call nose stud jewelry) twisted about inside my nose. I can whistle with it if I try, sometimes.

Anywho I need to do something with this site sometime. I've had this layout forever and I neglect broken links and the old statcounter makes freaking popups but I'm too lazy/newly obsessed with guitar hero to work on it. Or anything else of the various to do list items (most of which is silly stuff involving trees like going to Longwood Gardens or such stuff.)

Anywho lets see lots of fun stuffs been up recently... Christmas happened and I saw my little cousins who somehow over the past year are taller than me, despite being 11. How does that work? I guess I am that small :/

What of interest happened before Christmas? Hrmmm. Blue Sun played at the Coffee Club in media and I saw everyone and their brother and their second cousin there, it was ridiculous. They played a nice acoustic set even with people being sick. A few days later jason went to the ER and got a laryngoscopy and they finally figured out he has acid reflux, its not an infection in his throat, so partay.

Anywho other fun stuff thats happened as of late... escapades umm on Christmas was enveloped in Jasons huge Italian family at their grandparents little twin in Havertown, I love that party every year, its so much fun. They all loved my nasty grey silver blonde lavender hair. Then Tom Jones diner that night with Gabi... after trying to get Kris to wake up via whistling at windows. Tuesday drove allll over the world, kidnapped Kris, we and Gabi went to South st. Drove them back, picked up Tori and Sophie, went back to the city and met up with Eric and Chrissy, and later Chris and Delia. I got my nose pierced at Warrior! After roaming around we drove back to Ridley for Nifty Fifty's and then after much messiness with milkshakes on tori, had a clown car for the ride to Langhorne. Saw Erics house and cats and played guitar hero.

Jeez my detailing of plans gets tedious and long and boring, but I'm doing it so i dont forget, so feel free to skip.
What else... probably hung out with Tori and Sophie more, it upsets me when I can't remember these things. Friday trekked to KOP mall, ate at TGI Fridays, went to Upper Darby for glow bowling with some fun ppls, then squeezed into joey's truck for Pats Steaks run. Saturday went with Tori, Chris, Sophie and like 7859342 others to crowd the quaint little Seven stones Cafe to watch Dan O and his bro Colin perform. Pumpkin nut bread is delicious. Then later after watching Dane Cook's Vicious Circle at Chris's, went to the Riddle Ale house to watch Blue Sun (with Jen sorta filling in.) They did a good job, although they didnt think so. Then various debauchery at Boyle's in celebration, ended up sleeping over although i was being sharp.

And as mentioned last night spent at Boyles, the band played again, we had cider and did our pollyanna, etc... music, chatting about stars and extraterrestrial life, and the twilight zone and vegetarianism etc. Fun stuff like that.

Anywho I'll stop with all the recording shit. I feel like I only do surface level rambling all the time, sorry nildenyas. Its nice to be able to come home for a bit of calm and then run out with my Mogwai bag filled with yarn and pens and advil bottles and free postcards and bounce around southeast pa like a pinball. Its so freeing to be back here and with everyone, and I always say that but it truly is my recharging time. I don't know how I'm gonna last with crew taking over my spring break :/

Anywho I should go and do a sea salt soak... my ears infected, I'm sure you wanted to know. tataa nildenya.

Just a note

To say that this is not dead, and neither am I. The semester is progressing (as things do) and I'm kinda just going with it. Slightly buried under late work and my inability to use self discipline and time management. Still major-less. Still waking up occasionally at absurd times to row with the crew team. Only this morning, the 29th of November did I wade out into a nearly freezing lake to my knees to get our boat in the water, since we don't have docks. Makes the rest of the day less daunting.

Anywho other than that stuff has been happening. I feel silly recalling so much so I wont, just recent-er ness. Thanksgiving break was splendid. I love being home and it was awesome to see everyone I saw, although twas sad for I couldnt see everyone. Did fun stuff like playing hockey til late at night, (working on my wrist shot), Clubbing with Tori and Sophie at Shampoo (<3 nocturne), midnight mosh, eating turkey, family time, seeing Ohara's Miss Saigon, chilling and photo romping, going with jason to east jabip, seeing blue sun not perform at collingbrook due to a fight, seeing them at a basement show instead...

Fun stuff like that and sleeping and seeing my black lab, etc.

I kinda wanna get my nose pierced, thats backburner-ing for now.
Need some more musica, and need to force out poetry for my english 50 class. College still isnt agreeing with me, I'm bad at squeezing out poetry. Alas, I signed up for it.

Tata for now nildenyas...

to destress-

I liked reading these poems:

Carol Ann Duffy, "World"

On the other side of the world,
you pass the moon to me,
like a loving cup,
or a quaich.
I roll you the sun.

I go to bed,
as you're getting up
on the other side of the world.
You have scattered the stars
towards me here, like seeds

in the earth.
All through the night,
I have sent you
bunches, bouquets, of cloud
to the other side of the world;

so my love will be shade
where you are,
and yours,
as I turn in my sleep,
the bud of a star.

annddd

Trying to Raise the Dead - Dorianne Laux

Look at me. I’m standing on a deck
in the middle of Oregon. There are
friends inside the house. It’s not my

house, you don’t know them.
They’re drinking and singing
and playing guitars. You love

this song, remember, “Ophelia,”
Boards on the windows, mail
by the door. I’m whispering

so they won’t think I’m crazy.
They don’t know me that well.
Where are you now? I feel stupid.

I’m talking to trees, to leaves
swarming on the black air, stars
blinking in and out of heart-

shaped shadows, to the moon, half-
lit and barren, stuck like an axe
between the branches. What are you

now? Air? Mist? Dust? Light?
What? Give me something. I have
to know where to send my voice.

A direction. An object. My love, it needs
a place to rest. Say anything. I’m listening.
I’m ready to believe. Even lies, I don’t care.

Say burning bush. Say stone. They’ve
stopped singing now and I really should go.
So tell me, quickly. It’s April. I’m

on Spring Street. That’s my gray car
in the driveway. They’re laughing
and dancing. Someone’s bound

to show up soon. I’m waving.
Give me a sign if you can see me.
I’m the only one here on my knees.